“Do not lean on your own understanding”

I’m writing this very informally sitting on my couch with my little sausage dog Bluey on my lap.

I’m going through a different season in my life, trying to become healthy in every single way possible no matter how hard it feels or is.

Lately it seems like it’s one hit after the other, gallbladder attacks, health issue after health issue but being confused because I’ve lost 11kg and eating way healthier and doing physiotherapy and moving my body more, putting as much effort in as I possibly can whilst juggling being a mum and a wife and keeping up with our house and navigating extended family and healthy communication with everyone when I wasn’t exactly taught how to do that when I was growing up.

In all of this I have been working towards understanding God and knowing the Bible. When you read the Bible you find it is way more complex than people know. I grew up going to church most Sundays, went to Sunday school, went to youth, continued to go to church as an adult. It wasn’t until I hit my lowest low that I knew I needed to get up and wake up to myself and actually read the Bible myself and know about God more and know what the Bible actually says not just what the pastor says or what other people say, what does the Bible ACTUALLY say. (Also thank you to a certain friend who helped me see this)

For a while I felt like I was going backwards when I started reading the Bible, I couldn’t sleep, I was starting to see brokenness everywhere and within every person.

Some people would say “they are sinners” but I would say “they are hurting” “they need healing” “they are needing some kindness”

In the midst of so much pain it was very easy for me to question God and sometimes be angry at him. “God why do you allow it” “God why” “why”

I still don’t have the clear answer but what I can say is, God is definitely working.

It may not be clear to me right now but I do believe that God has a plan to turn it all around for good.

I was sent this Bible verse tonight by someone very dear to me:

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.

This verse hits hard!

ALL your heart…

Lean not on your own understanding….

I’m sitting with this verse tonight and bringing my attention back to God and His word.

I'm trusting God with the things I cannot yet see. Praying for reconciliation, for hearts to soften, for minds to be healed, and for restoration in the ways only He can bring.